“You’ve always been female.”
“I’ve always been...female...” you say with a sigh. Of course you’ve always been female, but finally the memories come flooding back and your head starts not to hurt so much. You remember your first Barbie doll. Your first time kissing a boy. Playing soccer. Shopping with mom. Your blue prom dress. Your sorority sisters. Everything now is just...remembered. Why couldn’t you remember it just a moment ago? Oh well, it doesn’t matter now. But your head still hurts a little bit...
“Your name is Nicolette Danica George.”
“Nicolette Danica George...” you repeat as the memories of that name return with the tingle that comes when saying one’s full name. You can’t believe you forgot it! You were named after your great-grandmother, after all, and you always loved your name. Your head also finally stops throbbing. Things felt weird just a moment ago, but now you know who you are again.
“Nod if you feel good, Nicolette.”
You nod.
“Fantastic. Now, let’s see...you have bright blonde hair.”
“B-bright blonde hair?” You question, feeling your long, dirty blonde locks. They matched your mom’s. Unlike a lot of other girls, you were perfectly fine with not dying it to go lighter, and your hair was certainly never brighter than this ever.
“You have bright blonde hair, Nicolette.”
“Bright...blonde...hair...I have it...” you say, your hair now a very light shade of blonde. It matched your mom’s hair. You were always envied for your perfect gold color and loved all the attention it got you from guys, but admittedly the “dumb blonde” labels (even though you were smart) were annoying.
“You’re a virgin.”
“Huh? I’m not a virgin...” you say defensively. You’ve had sex plenty of times, the first time coming when you were 17 with your then-boyfriend Andy after prom was over. You just had sex yesterday with your boyfriend Bradley, for crying out loud! Being so popular in high school and college guaranteed you’d get laid. You weren’t a virgin at all; you love sex (who doesn’t?)!
“Now now, Nicolette, you ARE a virgin.”
“I-I’m n-not a v-vir...a vir...” you struggle, your mind hurting like crazy again. You try and remember your sexual encounters, and they are...gone! You can remember oral and anal (like what you did with Andy after prom because YOU didn’t want to have sex) but no actual sex. It feels so weird but then again, you were never to high on penetrative sex anyway. You just did the other stuff.
“You are a virgin when it comes to anything sexual.”
“I’m a virgin...when it comes...to...uh...”
“Anything sexual.”
“ANYTHING sexual...” you admit at last, your head pain fading away. Physically, to suit your new reality, your long blonde hair is now chopped to the neck, and your clothes are just a tad less showy, but you think this was always the case. You were a virgin (how did he know?) and it’s something you have mixed feelings about. You were raised very conservatively and were happy to stay out of the craziness of sex, and parties and drinking for that matter, hence your low popularity as a teen. However, you wish you could have had a boyfriend and experience whatever came with that. You are terrible with boys and no matter how hard your friends try, and how attractive you are, you just keep telling yourself it might not ever happen. Everyone probably thinks you are secretly gay with how bad you are with guys.
“You think I am attractive.”
“I think...I think...” you get out. The man, certainly a bit older than you, wasn’t bad looking, but to call him attractive was-
“You really think I’m attractive.”
“I really think you are attractive...” you say, knowing that he deserves that. He’s just so handsome, but it’s a shame that 1. He probably doesn’t like you and 2. You’ll mess this up.
He stops swinging the pendulum and you come to.
“Are you alright, Nicolette?” He asks.
“Yes I’m fine...I’m Nicolette,” you offer.
“I know. I just said your name,” says the man, laughing.
“Oh...right...” you say, blushing.