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Without further hesitation, you decide to rub the lamp and see what happens.
A genie pops out and introduces himself, "Greetings, I am the genie of the— Oh god not that asshole, can you please get him out of here, master?"
"Now hold on there, blue tornado lookin' asshole, I rubbed you first so that means you're working with me!" exclaimed Earl.
"You didn't even let me introduce myself and told me to "Fuck off" immediately, thereby forfeiting your status as my master, therefore I cannot currently grant you any wishes," replied the genie.
"That's BULLSHIT, this is MY house and MY rules. You are to give me everything I want!" demands Earl.
Earl's temper is rising quick, but thankfully the genie is on your side.