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While all this neighborhood drama unfolds around you one question remains unanswered: Just how DID the lamp get into your house? You think long and hard for a good minute or two and come to a shocking realization:
You got really drunk last night and stole Earl's lamp and forgot about it. The police are coming, Earl has caught you red-handed, and there are over a dozen witnesses to prove that you tried to sell his precious lamp. How could you have been so stupid? The police will surely investigate the issue thoroughly and you could face jail time for attempted trafficking of stolen goods. You could lose your job. Your life will be ruined!
You need to make a decision, and you need to make one fast!