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At the start of every single miserable day of your life, you're here in your bathroom, brushing your teeth. Looking at yourself in that god-forsaken mirror. When you look in the mirror you see a stranger, some empty vessel that you use to get around. Some numb, useless, ugly flesh vehicle. Whoever you see in the reflection, it's not you. And you never want to be them, yet every single day, you are. You are forced to accept this is you, but it just makes you so uncomfortable doing so.
At the same time, you imagine in your head, looking in the mirror and seeing the girl version of yourself and you feel young again. You feel optimistic. But only ever so slightly, as its drained out by the pessimism and evil that is the real world. You don't want to be like this, but you also won't acknowledge that you want to be a woman. Even though it's Every. Single. Day. You won't even pee standing up, but you still pretend that you're a man on the inside. An empty husk of one at that. Once you finish on the toilet, you wash your hands and apply your deodorant.
As you rub it against your armpits you can't help but wish they were shaved. Fuck. Everything is causing these thoughts, isn't it? You've had enough of the sickening place that you call your bathroom. Time to move on to breakfast. And by breakfast I mean having a 15 minute nap because you're too depressed to even make it anymore, justifying it to yourself as "cost-saving".
Once your nap is over, you pack up whatever the hell you take to work with you and get on the bus. You're always lost in your thoughts, even if the majority of them are of either having a genie turn you into a woman/getting struck by lightning and turning into a woman, etc. or suicide. You'd rather sit there thinking about death and never being able to be a woman than sit there and enjoy the rain outside the bus window. They say time flies when you're having fun, but you're dead on the inside and that 20 minute bus ride felt like 1 minute.
At the same time, you imagine in your head, looking in the mirror and seeing the girl version of yourself and you feel young again. You feel optimistic. But only ever so slightly, as its drained out by the pessimism and evil that is the real world. You don't want to be like this, but you also won't acknowledge that you want to be a woman. Even though it's Every. Single. Day. You won't even pee standing up, but you still pretend that you're a man on the inside. An empty husk of one at that. Once you finish on the toilet, you wash your hands and apply your deodorant.
As you rub it against your armpits you can't help but wish they were shaved. Fuck. Everything is causing these thoughts, isn't it? You've had enough of the sickening place that you call your bathroom. Time to move on to breakfast. And by breakfast I mean having a 15 minute nap because you're too depressed to even make it anymore, justifying it to yourself as "cost-saving".
Once your nap is over, you pack up whatever the hell you take to work with you and get on the bus. You're always lost in your thoughts, even if the majority of them are of either having a genie turn you into a woman/getting struck by lightning and turning into a woman, etc. or suicide. You'd rather sit there thinking about death and never being able to be a woman than sit there and enjoy the rain outside the bus window. They say time flies when you're having fun, but you're dead on the inside and that 20 minute bus ride felt like 1 minute.
What do you do?